The kids made it a good day. Took me to lunch after Mass, and later we went to a city pool. I’m grateful they knew it would be hard for me today: so they made the day that Paco would have (Paco was always the one to plan how to make your day great).
It’s Father’s Day, but someone is missing. I miss this guy so very much. He was “the strongest avenger” in our house. And he never let a day like today pass without celebration. So, I’ll rally for Paco—my buddy bear, my “el torrito”, but he’s not here. And my day will always be incomplete.
Three months of grief, and my birthday.
Yesterday. The fifth.
Three months have passed since Paco died. Since then, I have been somewhat on auto pilot. There have been moments of sobriety, moments of clarity that come as quickly as they disappear. But on balance, these last three months have felt like an eternity. And yet it feels as raw as last week. This week especially, the weight of his absence has felt extraordinary.
Today. The sixth.
My 45th birthday. Paco would have been the most excited. More than my wife. More than the other kids. More than all of them combined. He loved to make birthdays the best for whomever. Paco would have fought his siblings to wake me so that he could be the first to wish me happy birthday. He would have insisted on getting me a giant birthday balloon from Dollar Tree, and would not let the sun set without surprising me with a cake. “Dad, stay in your bedroom while we make a surprise cake for you.”
Lucia and the kids did well to make the day feel joyous as they could. We ordered breakfast burritos for delivery. I took the kids to the movies—a reshowing of The Bad Guys (2018)—and got some tacos for lunch. Before dinner, we went to do indoor mini golf. And yeah, they got balloons. Four of them. He is not forgotten.
My cake says “145” because of a running joke. My dad always added a hundred to his age when I was a kid. I started doing it to my kids. They all know the truth by now, but it’s the still the running gag in the family about “dad’s old.”
☕️ My first proper pour over in months. Dialing in a new grinder I’ve wanted for a long time. The inexpensive but worthy King P1.
Oof. I had to replace the car battery this morning. More than double since the last time (2022, I believe).
🎥 World Record Rubik’s Cube, via Twitter/X.
0.103 seconds. Let that sink in.
I’m not saying he’s overthinking it, but I just received a student email about fall classes. (Spring classes ended last week, and grades weren’t due until this past Monday.)
Washington should recognize that rehearsals like Strait Thunder-2025A are a serious form of escalation. Not responding, or not appearing to respond, will invite further escalation. Washington should clearly communicate steps taken in response to Chinese Communist Party actions surrounding Taiwan.
Pope Bob, from Chicago—and a fellow alumni of Villanova (where I got my MA)—knows how to make an entrance. Deo Gratias.
Big kid one his pinewood derby tonight. Undefeated. After these last two months, he needed something to be excited about it.
I discover that Rilo Kiley is launching a reunion tour! Woot.
I discover they’re sold out in Phoenix! Booo!
🗞️ Six Thing I learned About Life Selling Mens Clothes, Drake’s Editorial
But maybe I was being nice to the register girls for other reasons. Reasons I didn’t even know. Decades later, while I was in Milan for the men’s shows. I met a girl from Chicago. We soon learned that we both had worked at Mark Shale, though at two different stores.
Reader, I married her.
I learned the same lessons selling hi-fi through college.
🗞️ 50 Things I’ve Learned Writing Construction Physics, Subtack
“AT&T spent substantially more on telephone infrastructure in the 1960s than NASA spent on the Apollo Program.”
Currently reading: Lament for a Son by Nicholas Wolterstorff 📚
No surprise. I miss Paco every moment of every day.
🗞️ Middle-Aged Man Trading Cards](https://www.tokyoweekender.com/entertainment/middle-aged-man-trading-cards-go-viral-in-japan/)
While kids in most parts of Japan are obsessed with Pokémon cards … the children of Kawara are clutching to something a little closer to home. They are playing a trading card game (TCG) where the stars… [are] ojisan (middle-aged or older men) from the local community of Saidosho.
🗞️ Sports and the American City
Both collegiate and professional sports have been aggressively cozying up to gambling interests, a sure sign that a healthy profit motive has turned into the type of greed that melts the wax wings of hubris.
Great read from a good friend of mine.
Today is one month since my beloved son, Paco died unexpectedly. Feels like a blink, like an eternity. His siblings are only now starting to be agitated about it all. His mom and I get by a day at a time.
🎥 The Sound of Music: Recut as an Action movie, YouTube.
Hilarious and I’m angry that I only saw this now.
Finally watching my first March Madness game of the year (Mich St. v Bryant). It’s been a painful week. This will be a nice distraction.