Back in Austin! Looks a lot different, feels the same.

Ladies and gentlemen… TEN YEARS

Honestly, I am having difficulty believing it but the math checks out.

We made it a day. Did a lot of Paco’s favorite things: breakfast burritos, In-N-Out, the lake and a hike. We took him balloons. Instead of cake, we did pumpkin pie and Mexican hot chocolate.

Happy birthday, Paco. You are missed, and so loved.

We’re making this your day, kiddo.

IDK how she knows about them, buy my 4yo has me writing the music notes to the songs she’s singing a cappella. “Like, wait—music notes?”

“Yes,” she said, emphatically.

Finished reading: Syllabus: The Remarkable, Unremarkable Document That Changes Everything (Skills for Scholars) by William Germano 📚

Wrapped this up a while ago but forgot record it. Whoops.

Currently reading: The Power Broker by Robert A. Caro 📚

So… a serious re-read with my grad students between known and, well, whenever (if) we finish. Let’s go!

Finished reading: Lament for a Son by Nicholas Wolterstorff 📚

Today was, well, better… not great knowing Paco’s birthday is a couple of days away. But better. (A day-trip to Flagstaff is on the table—maybe we’ll blow off everything, head up there, do a hike for him, buy a cake a restaurant, and drive home. IDK.)

Finished reading: Nimitz at War by Craig L. Symonds 📚

Starting a hard week. Today is five months since Paco died, and Thursday is his 8th birthday. 

I miss that guy so much.

Just had a work trip approved for Austin next month. I haven’t been back since I graduated in 2018. I won’t have enough time to visit all my old haunts, but lists are being made.

I need a new list of the new coffee joints and taco joints that have opened since I left.

🍿 The Last Castle (2001) - ★★★★★

Rest in peace.

The Last Castle poster

Somehow my 4yo or 6yo figured out how to order “The Three Little Pigs” on Audiobook via Alexa.

🗞️ Charlie Kirk’s Murder Is a Tragedy and a Disaster, Jacobin

No one should be killed as punishment for political expression, no matter how objectionable. …

… the prospect of a descent into tit-for-tat political violence is an ominous development that threatens to narrow the space for meaningful political action.… We [the Left] say things that others find extremely objectionable all the time, and we expect to be met with strenuous counterargument – not violent reprisal.

A sober and much welcomed op-ed

The Social Media User’s Prayer:

God grant me cacophonous wrath about the things I cannot change, habitual neglect of the things I can change, and absolute ignorance of the difference.

9/11, Charlie Kirk, and Walt Whitman

Reflecting on 24 years since 9/11 takes on a new poignancy in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assassination. I’m reminded of the opening line’s of Whitman’s 1860 poem, “States!"

Were you looking to be held together by the lawyers? By an agreement on a paper? Or by arms? Away! I arrive, bringing these, beyond all the forces of
courts and arms, These! to hold you together as firmly as the earth
itself is held together. The old breath of life, ever new, Here! I pass it by contact to you, America.

Whitman understood that mere self-interest would never be sufficient to maintain Union, the “lawyers”, the “agreement on paper” is a reference to the Constitutional compact of Union. It was tearing apart, not only because of Southern recalcitrance to maintain slavery, but also because of Northern callousness—a belief that perhaps it would be better to let them go their own way.

Whitman sought to remind us that there is a deeper bond amongst us Americans, but it needed a renewal of sorts. Here, in the opening he refers to it as the “old breath of life”—a clear reference to the Holy Spirit (cf. Genesis 2:7) among many such allusions in the Bible). But this wasn’t just a Christian, spiritual renewal. What Whitman goes on to describe is a romantic, patriotic friendship that binds not just the Northerns and Southerns—as individual persons—but his scope for that bond was continental, encompassing Canada, Mexico, and Cuba.

Here is Whitman’s closing:

I will plant companionship thick as trees along all the
rivers of America, and along the shores of the
great lakes, and all over the prairies, I will make inseparable cities, with their arms about
each other’s necks.

For you these, from me, O Democracy, to serve you,
ma femme! For you! for you, I am trilling these songs.

After 9/11 there was a brief moment of such renewed bond of civic friendship. I don’t just mean the brief 90 percent approval rating of George W. Bush—I mean the way that Americans spoke to and about one another. Even amongst disagreement, even sharp ones, there was a respect and deference that we were still friends. I remember many long conversations with classmates, all of us across the political spectrum and religious beliefs—we debated political issues in good faith. And although I’ve lost touch with those friends from 2001, I’m grateful that among my closest friends, we’ve maintained this spirit of companionship, thick as trees.

I hope and pray that even some of us can recover this old breath of life, reach out to someone with an opposing view on something and just talk.

On Charlie Kirk (an initial thought)

I’m appalled less by the tragic murder of Charlie Kirk than I am about some of the responses, especially on Micro.Blog wherein pointing to his political views but nothing else serves as subtle but obvious implication that he had it coming.

Kirk was a great American because he was a man of conviction—who exercised the blessing of liberty in defense of views he was convinced was true. Indeed, yes, so were Melissa Hortman (and her husband, Mark), and John Hoffman (and his wife, Yvette) who were also great Americans who lived a life dedicated to the principles of advocating for policies and political views they were deeply convinced about. That Kirk was ardent Conservative and Hortman and Hoffman ardent Democrats does not diminish their greatness as models for civic living that the rest of living should emulate and follow.

Words and ideas are not violence, violence is violence. I disagreed with Kirk on much (especially Trump), agreed with him on some things. I had the pleasure of having TP kids in my class over the years (all of whom were deeply respectful of all views, loved engaging with their center-left and hard-left classmates in the spirit of free speech). Kirk had firm positions, but then, so does everyone else. Many will say Kirk was full of hate and bigotry because of an assumption that they’re the sober, moderate ones, but it’s possible that Kirk was moderate and his critics the radicals—that’s an uncomfortable proposition few on the left want to consider. (And, yes, one that few on the right will consider about themselves)

One thing that I noticed over the years is that once his first kid was born, he slowly began moderating himself from the agonistic contrarian to the leader of a movement that he wanted to direct toward better, higher, noble things (like family, faith, and open discourse). It is way too easy to point to a radical sounding clip or quote out of context from years gone by; it is too easy to make his death a clarion cry for more aggressive anti-constitutional policies in the name of righting the injustice.

What’s harder… much, much harder, is reflecting on the man as a man, the American as an American, on objective terms free of partisan bias.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May the souls of all the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Rest in Peace, Charlie… And may perpetual light shine upon you.

The 9yo is teaching his little sister (4.5), “Take me out to the ball game.” My heart is full. ⚾️